Here are some of the things from various admissions files that have made me sad (details changed to preserve anonymity)

• “I’m sure Stu Dent could do well in graduate school, provided you can get him to talk to you more than I ever could.”

• Transcripts with three times the number of courses (and substantially better grades) in music than in physics.

• Deep, Meaningful quotes from rock bands and dead hip-hop artists in the footer of the applicant’s cover letter.

• “No other institution would benefit more from my presence than yours.”

• “I only want to work on Topic X! Nothing is cooler than Topic X! My intellectual life is a shrine to Topic X.” Except, our department has no relevant work on Topic X.

• “Student has excellent physical intuition and will undoubtedly succeed in graduate school”. Except, Student has mostly B’s and C’s in their physics courses and a 15th percentile on the physics GRE.

• Students who have taken no math beyond calculus.

From my admission committee days I seem to remember loving to see these type of quotes. The application goes straight to “Pile 3″ and the stack gets shorter with little wasted effort. (Pile 1 is “yes, obviously”, Pile 2 is “reevaluate after normalization”, Pile 3 was “Really?!”)

I do give a certain amount of leeway for somewhat silly things that applicants write, if it looks like something that the student will mature out of. I’m also very aware that there are cultural codes that people from well-educated backgrounds absorbed instinctively, but that first generation college students may have had no exposure to. Thus, I don’t give major demerits for peculiar statements from someone with a non-traditional background. However, if someone has had every advantage and still chooses to act like an arrogant ass, then it’s a red flag.

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