答案優(yōu)選下面的這篇作文是一篇極為優(yōu)秀的范文，作者為 Lanren A Hackney，被耶魯大學(xué)，麻省理工學(xué)院和波士頓學(xué)院同時(shí)錄取。

原文：

I'M GOING RUNNING TODAY. I am not concerned about my calorie consumption for the day, nor am I anxious to get in shape for the winter season. I just want to go running。

I used to dislike running. "If you don't win this game, you're all running five miles tomorrow," the field hockey coach used to warn, during those last days of October when the average temperature seemed to be decreasing exponentially. And so, occasionally, my grief-stricken team would run numerous miserable laps around the fields. At the end of these excursions, our faces and limbs would be numb, and we would all have developed those notorious flu-like symptoms; but the running made us better in the long run, I suppose. Nevertheless, I counted down the days until the end of the field hockey season, vowing never to put on a pair of running shoes again. Then I surprised myself by signing up for outdoor track in the second half of sophomore year. I was foolish to have believed that I could ever escape this insidious and magnetic addiction。


Anyone would have thought that I'd be off the team in a few days, but the last week of January caught me splashing through puddles of melted ice, and February winds nearly blew me off the track. I looked forward to practices this time around, to the claps and the persistent cheers of my fellow trackies. I was feeling a "runner's high" spurred by the endorphins released by exercise. But to attribute my affinity for running solely to chemistry diminishes the personal importance that running has for me。

I like running—in the cool shade of the towering oak trees, and in the warm sunlight spilling over the horizon, and in the drops of rain falling gently from the clouds. Certain things become clear to me when I'm running—only while running did I realize that "hippopotami" is possibly the funniest word in the English language, and only while running did I realize that the travel section of The York Times does not necessarily provide an accurate depiction of the entire world. Running lends me precious moments to contemplate my life: while running I find time to dream about changing the world, to think about recent death of a classmate, or to wonder about the secret to college admission


Running is the awareness of hurdles between me and the finish line; running is the desire to overcome them. Running is putting up with aches and pains, relishing the knowledge that, in the end, I will have built strength and endurance. Running is the instant clarity of vision with which I can see my future just one hundred yards in the distance; it is the understanding that these crucial steps will determine victory or defeat。

Running is not the most important thing in the world to me, but it is what fulfills me when time permits. And right now, before the sun goes down, I like to take advantage of the road that lies ahead。

翻譯：

"今天我要去跑步。我不是擔(dān)心一天的卡路里消耗，我也不是渴望在冬季保持自己的身材。我只是想去跑步。

我過去并不喜歡跑步?！叭绻銈儧]有贏得這場比賽，明天你們所有人都得跑5英里。”曲棍球教練過去常常警告；那是十月的最后幾天，平均氣溫仿佛呈指數(shù)般驟降。是的，偶爾，我們可憐的球隊(duì)隊(duì)員會(huì)在田徑場上痛苦地跑上很多圈。在長跑結(jié)束的時(shí)候，我們的臉和四肢會(huì)變得麻木，我們都會(huì)出現(xiàn)類似臭名昭著的流感一樣的癥狀；我猜想，就長遠(yuǎn)而言長跑對(duì)我們有利。盡管如此，我都會(huì)數(shù)著距離曲棍球賽季結(jié)束還剩幾天，并發(fā)誓絕不再穿上跑鞋。然后，連我自己也感到驚奇，十年級(jí)下學(xué)期的時(shí)候，我又報(bào)名參加了室外徑賽隊(duì)。我傻乎乎地以為我本可擺脫這種漸漸積累且磁性般的跑步癮。


任何人都以為我會(huì)在幾天內(nèi)脫離徑賽隊(duì)，但一月的最后一個(gè)星期，我跑過冰雪消融后的水坑，水花飛濺；二月的風(fēng)里，我?guī)缀醣淮惦x跑道。我期待在這個(gè)時(shí)節(jié)訓(xùn)煉，以回應(yīng)同伴隊(duì)友的鼓勵(lì)和不斷的喝彩。我感受到因鍛煉釋放的內(nèi)啡肽刺激產(chǎn)生的跑步者的快感。但是，僅僅把我對(duì)跑步的愛好歸結(jié)于化學(xué)反應(yīng)是降低了跑步對(duì)我個(gè)人的重要性。

我喜歡跑步－在高聳橡樹陰涼的樹蔭里，在從地平線溢漫出的溫暖陽光里，在從云彩中落下的雨滴里。當(dāng)我跑步時(shí)，有些事情對(duì)我會(huì)變得清晰。只有當(dāng)我跑步時(shí)，我才意識(shí)到，河馬可能是英語里最搞笑的單詞；只有當(dāng)我跑步時(shí)，我才意識(shí)到《紐約時(shí)報(bào)》的旅游版并不一定提供了對(duì)整個(gè)世界的準(zhǔn)確描繪。跑步給了我思考我的人生的寶貴時(shí)刻：跑步時(shí)，我有時(shí)間去夢想改變世界，去思考最近去世的同學(xué)，或去猜想大學(xué)招生的秘密。

跑步是對(duì)我和終點(diǎn)之間的障礙的意識(shí);跑步是克服這些障礙的愿望。跑步是忍受疼痛，品味這樣的認(rèn)知：最終，我會(huì)建立起力量和耐力。跑步是瞬間視野的清晰，使我看到我的未來只在百碼以外；跑步是一種理解：剩余的關(guān)鍵步子將決定成敗。

跑步對(duì)我并不是世界上最重要的事，但它卻在時(shí)間容許下讓我充實(shí)滿足。現(xiàn)在，日落之前，我想利用前方的道路，再跑上一回。

點(diǎn)評(píng)：

這篇作文的題目是關(guān)于課外體育活動(dòng)。利用跑步鍛煉這個(gè)題材，作者闡述了自己對(duì)人生現(xiàn)實(shí)的認(rèn)知，充滿了積極向上的期待。

美國的大學(xué)教育是普通教育，培養(yǎng)有一技之長、對(duì)社會(huì)有用并且能適應(yīng)社會(huì)的人?，F(xiàn)實(shí)社會(huì)，不可避免會(huì)有很多不公平的地方，要成功，需要有頑強(qiáng)的心理素質(zhì)。名牌大學(xué)對(duì)學(xué)生未來的發(fā)展期望很高，對(duì)學(xué)生承受壓力、正視挫折的能力非?？粗亍：芏啻髮W(xué)的命題作文直接或間接地考察學(xué)生面對(duì)人生逆境的表現(xiàn)；而一個(gè)聰明的學(xué)生也會(huì)利用機(jī)會(huì)展示自己面對(duì)挑戰(zhàn)的勇氣和進(jìn)取心。

在這篇作文里，作者開始就提到了自己早年在曲棍球隊(duì)的經(jīng)歷：一個(gè)粗暴有虐待傾向的教練和懲罰性的長跑。盡管心里很不樂意，作者并沒有放棄，反而以一種適應(yīng)的態(tài)度去對(duì)待并最終迷上了這項(xiàng)運(yùn)動(dòng)。徑賽隊(duì)同伴的鼓勵(lì)，讓我們看到了作者珍惜友愛和社會(huì)的溫情；作者的感悟，讓我們既看到了作者走向社會(huì)的心理準(zhǔn)備，又充滿了積極的人生向往。一般的作文要求500單詞左右，這篇文章共503單詞，在有限的空間，包含了磨難，毅力，關(guān)懷，理解，憧憬。全文詞匯優(yōu)雅豐富，修辭巧妙，用了很多排比句，畫面感非常強(qiáng)，感染力也非常強(qiáng)。在具體寫作技巧上，有二點(diǎn)值得一提：

1. 使用了不少科學(xué)詞匯，如指數(shù)般(exponentially)，內(nèi)啡肽(endorphin)，愛好(affinity)，這些詞匯的應(yīng)用顯然有利于叩擊麻省理工學(xué)院的大門。

2. 巧妙甚至狡猾地使用了幽默。幽默是個(gè)雙刃劍，往往容易弄巧成拙，一般人在作文里會(huì)盡量避免。然而，作者卻大膽地調(diào)侃道：跑步時(shí)，會(huì)去猜想大學(xué)招生的秘密--這簡直是在向正在閱讀此作文的招生人員叫陣！但是，說這句話的時(shí)候，招生的人應(yīng)該已經(jīng)為其經(jīng)歷和毅力所觸動(dòng)，而且前面談到河馬單詞，已經(jīng)把作文的節(jié)奏調(diào)得輕松，這句話會(huì)讓招生人員會(huì)心一笑，拉近了彼此的距離。而隨后夢幻般的緊湊道白，為這篇作文留下了非常美妙的收尾。