答案優(yōu)選機(jī)械工程專業(yè)自述范例
Mechanical engineering is the foundation of industry. It plays a key role in the national economy. It’s broad field including general engineering, aeronautical, chemical and nuclear engineering, etc. Provides a sufficient room of choices for me to realize the dream of becoming a scientist or a mechanical engineer. It was with this fact in mind that I decided to choose mechanical engineering as the major field of study for both undergraduate and graduate career at Tsinghua University.
a University, I completed a total of 47 courses in undergraduate study, 14 courses in graduate study. The major courses that interested me most included: Theoretical Mechanics, Strength of Materials, Elasticity and Plasticity Mechanical Analysis of Plastic Deformation Processes, Theory of metal Forming, Computer Language and Programming, Mechanical Design, etc… After graduation, I entered the First Heaby Machinery Works (in northeast of China). During this period, I became familiar with the design and manufacturing of some heavy machines, thus furthering my interest in mechanical engineering. At the same time, I found that many good ideas of design could not be put into existence because of the backwardness in raw material quality and processing techniques. This fact impelled the related areas and me to concentrate my research interest on materials science and processing. Through careful survey, I selected a subject about the quality control of heavy disc forging and took it as my rese

arch subject for master degree. After over tow years of investigation, I finally made a great innovation in the forging process, making the end product rate increase from 50% to 90%. In the course of investigation and my later working after graduate study, I also found some problems that are common in mechanical industry. For example, how do cracks in products during hot metal working generate and develop? How to avoid cracks? How do non-metallic inclusions affect the properties of materials? How to control the content, shape and distribution of inclusions in final products? Solution to these problems will improve the quality of many kinds of products. But they are often difficult to be solved because they include knowledge of many disciplines and require many new research methods. I feel that what I have learned is far from sufficient to tackle all the problems. Thus I have decided to continue my education by pursuing a doctoral degree in mechanical engineering in a highly industriali zed country like the United States.

I plan to complete my degree objective I 3 to 5 year and hope that I will be able to further my knowledge I areas including Solid Mechanics, Materials Science and Processes, CAD/CAM, etc… After completing my graduate study, I will return to contribute my learning to my country. I plan to work as a researcher of a teacher at an institute or a university.
During nearly eight years of study at Tsinghu

寫作要求（加拿大大學(xué)）
The personal statement should contain an explanation of your interest in Bioengineering. You may also use the personal statement to relate important or unusual experiences, such as research, volunteer work, or leadership or cultural experiences. The personal statement is also a place to explain how you could contribute to diversity within the Department of Bioengineering. Factors that contribute to diversity include, but are not limited to: cultural awareness, activities, or accomplishments; educational background and goals; living experiences, such as growing up in a disadvantaged or unusual environment; and special talents.


Finally, you may use a portion of the personal statement to address any academic difficulties, such as a poor performance one quarter or a low grade in a pre-requisite course. If your cumulative GPA falls below the 2.5 needed to apply to Bioengineering, or you have academic problems to explain that are larger than a single course or quarter, please address this through a formal letter of petition (see note) rather than through the personal statement.

Length of Essay: While we do not limit you to one page, it is important that your essay be well written. Be clear about what you want to say so that you do not ramble or repeat yourself.

Put the most important sentences at the beginning and end of the paragraph.

Writing Personal Statements for Graduate School

Your personal statement is your introduction to a university admission committee. The aim of your
statement is to communicate that you are intelligent, literate, and have interests and abilities in common with the program in which you are interested.

Clarity

Your writing should be clearly written and enjoyable to read. Here are some characteristics of clear writing:

Clear, direct phrasing (word choice)

· It is rather important that the selection of words chosen by any given individual reflect a cognizance of the English language as demonstrated by the careful selection of words designed to
evoke the most appropriate emotional and cognitive response in a clear concise manner.

(Huh?) Oh sorry, let's rephrase that: Use phrases that simply and directly convey your meaning.
Don't use language to try to sound sophisticated. You should be clear, concise, and intelligent, not
verbose, For example: flowery, or pompous.

· Avoid overly common phrases and nonspecific information.（避免用那些太平常的詞組或者不具體的信息）

"My above qualifications and my placement in the top 10th of my class demonstrate that I have
the leadership, organization, and academic ability to succeed well at your school." This generic statement says nothing specific about you as an individual. When you're writing, think about whether it's likely that 100 other people said the same thing you did. The personal statement is your chance to show how unique you are.

Organization. Organization is the 'macro' level of clear writing. Not only should each sentence be clear, but the entire text should flow together in a logical order.

· Put the most important sentences at the beginning and end of the paragraph. When people skim
passages, they look at the first and then the last sentence. Make a good first and last impression
with substantive statements. Don't begin or end on fluff.
· Put the most important paragraph first. Don't "save the best for last"; you don't know how long
the attention span of your reader will be.
· Have an outline. There should be a reason that paragraph 1 comes first and paragraph 2 follows.
Have a clear outline of the main points and how those main points fit together. Use that outline to
check whether the most important point is first, whether all points are equally important, and
which points you might sacrifice in the interests of space.

· Use transitions between paragraphs. Have meaningful transitions based on your organization,
e.g., time-based, academic then applied work, etc. Don't rely on phrases such as "In addition" to
carry the reader to the next paragraph.

Mechanics (spelling, grammar). Don't be sloppy. Use a spell checker, but also reread it to catch errors that the spell checker missed (e.g., "affect" vs. "effect"; "its" vs. "it's"). You don't want your writing to suggest to the committee that you're too lazy or don't care enough to fix typos, or worse, that you're in college and still don't know how to spell.

Formatting. You want the reader to be as comfortable as possible when reading your personal statement.

Type your statement. Make it fit neatly within the allotted space (usually 1-2 pages). Standard margins are 1" all around. Standard font size is 12 points. Laser or inkjet printing is best; avoid dot-matrix printing.

Creative Content

You need substantive content, and if you can be creative that's even better. Needs will vary according to the area you're applying for, pay attention to the requirements of the department to which you are applying. Here are some areas you might include:
· Work done with or that displays knowledge of top people in the field--summarize key points of
your actual experience
· Recognition of and interest in work of individuals in the department to which you are applying
· Clinical or related work experience
· Personal reasons for your interest in the area, for example, difficulties overcome, great
extracurricular achievements, etc.
These items are pretty standard, so don't limit yourself to this list. Use your imagination!

Conciseness

Stay well within length requirements. If you find yourself running over, evaluate which aspects of your personal statement are essential and which may be nice but not special. Here are some things that affect length:
· Have you stated information concisely? Is anything wordy or repetitious?
· Does each paragraph convey a specific meaningful point?
· Can you combine paragraphs that convey the same main point?
· Are you crowding the page by using small margins and too-small font?
When you're satisfied with your draft, get someone else to read it (hey, how about the Psychology Writing Center), or leave enough time to set it aside and come back to it later. You'll be amazed at how many things sounded great when you wrote them that later seem unnecessary. Plan to write several drafts before.